OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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