I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
