I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
