I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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