Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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