6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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