Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
