omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
