dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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