Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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