and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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