after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
