The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
