so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
