Where did you get a picture of my penis
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You took a bar mat shot.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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