so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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