They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I could fuck to npr.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
