My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
