And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
