My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
