the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
