Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
