I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
