Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
