...so i touched it.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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