...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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