I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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