Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
