Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
