Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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