Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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