no you cant smoke seaweed
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you had me at cake vodka
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
