No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
