id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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