tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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