What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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