She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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