now i know why i became what i already was.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You need Xanax blowdarts
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
