the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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