whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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