We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
