I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
