im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just cut my nipple shaving
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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