Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm always down for nudity.
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