It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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