I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
