Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
PANTIES FOUND
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