i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
