Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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