just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
